Lies.

So I have completely neglected this. The last time I posted was back a couple months when I was still in my beloved Thailand. Now I'm back in ole California....

I must say, adjusting took a little longer than I had anticipated, but I'm back in the routine of things. School has passed pretty quickly just likes the seasons and people. I am now immersed, once again, in Americans, their problems, greasy overly large portions, and being completely single! I'm taking great joy at being away for a couple of months and coming back and seeing EVERY SINGLE ONE OF MY FRIENDS IN A RELATIONSHIP. haha awesome. Really though I'm not bitter, I love it and I'm happy they found good people to be with. For now...I'd rather just watch from the sidelines; definitely not ready anytime soon...

YAY for my sisters! They keep me occupied and consume my time, and meeting all these new people renews my zest for creating new friendships.

It was a rocky start for my best friend and I at first when I came back...but now we're re-strengthening our friendship again and I realized that she really is my best friend. She's someone I trust, am able to talk to, be myself around, and love. I can't wait to FINALLY travel together this summer in Australia and so forth!! She's helping me through my growth in so many aspects and ways. Thank you friend.

This was nice and a release. I hope you see this.

What spirit?

Well it definitely doesn't feel like the Christmas holidays...not in Bangkok, Thailand in 80 degree weather. It's bittersweet. I won't be able to make gifts and give gifts before Christmas this year.

I feel bitter and not in the holiday spirit. Maybe it'll change when I fly home to friends and cold weather.

If he doesn't miss you, care for you, or want you...forget him.
He isn't worth it.
how do you make someone appreciate what they have without making them lose anything?
.. just something to think about.

dirty little secrets

say what you want, 

say what you mean,

question yourself, 

are you really...

what you seem? 

before you question or judge others, why not take a look at yourself first? little things have been flying around my head lately as this experience is quickly coming to an end. you get to replay certain details, memories that seem to happen so long ago. i had a meaningful conversation with a friend during break between classes. it started off with me just venting about how i felt. after a while, it hit me. i'm judging others before i look at myself. i debated about this for quite a while and couldn't quite come up with an explanation. i need to learn how to look outside of myself and see if i am what i seem to be. 

best of what's around

it's not just pictures, or even the words

it isn't for my wants, or needs

rather, just something that lingers throughout the day

echoing...a thought

a place where i can comfortably write down memories

a passing feel of intimacy

something i will commit to

cause the best of what's around

is too precious to forget

to new beginnings